Nancy Davidson M.A., L.P.C. is a psychotherapist of 36yrs who has worked as a clinician and had a private practice in matters of abuse, self esteem, and family relations.

Sheryl Cates is a councilor and the chief executive officer of the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Dr. Robi Ludwig, Psy.D. is a nationally known psychotherapist and has been seen on every show from Oprah to CNN's Larry King as an expert speaking on psychological/lifestyle issues as well as the criminal mind. She is also the author of Till Death Do Us Part, Love, Marriage, and the Mind of the Killer Spouse

Louis Allen Epstein:
According to police reports on Feb. 8, Chris Brown and Rihanna got into a fight about a text message from another woman left on Brown's cell phone. Brown pulled his car over and tried to push Rihanna out of the car, but she was wearing her seatbelt. Brown then pushed Rihanna's head against the window, and continued punching her as he drove off. He also bit her on her ear.

Later Brown threatened to kill Rihanna after she pretended to leave a phone message with her assistant. Brown tried to choke Rihanna after she took his keys and Rihanna nearly lost consciousness.

This is not being tried as a domestic abuse case, but many people are calling it an example of domestic abuse. What is domestic abuse?

Nancy Davidson:
It's an emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, and or physical abuse of one partner towards another.

LAE:
How much of a problem is domestic abuse in this country?

Sheryl Cates:
Last year there were 1.3 million cases of domestic abuse reported in the US. That is up 21% from last year and the cases reported are more severe.

LAE:
Wow! How many more cases would you guess are not reported?

SC:
We know that at least 20% never report. These are usually the upper and middle class victims. Victims of a higher profile that wouldn't want to testify in court or feel like there might be some repercussions. I don't feel Rihanna would have reported her abuse had it not been reported for her.

LAE:
Well, can you really call it domestic abuse if the partners are just dating?

SC:
Dating abuse is increasing. It is the same pattern. It is about controlling the other partner.

ND:
Any intimate relationship can have an abusive partner. It may or may not be a sexual relationship or be sexually abusive, it could be emotionally abusive.

LAE:
How can it be abusive if it's not physical?

ND:
Emotional abuse could start as small as little cutting sarcastic put downs like, "You're looking kind of fat," to things like, "Who would listen to you," "That was a stupid thing to say," "Who would care about your opinion," all the way to, "No one would ever want you." It's about denigrating the person until they lose their self confidence.

LAE:
It sounds like most victims are female.

ND:
Women are more than ¾ of the victims, but women can abuse their husbands and same sex partners can abuse their partners.

LAE:
Why do people abuse people they say they love?

ND:
Love can mean so many different things to different people. The abuser needs to control his world. His love could be an emotional dependence, a desire to have his partner as a possession.

Dr. Robbie Ludwig:
Abusers very often feel easily slighted. They expect their partner to make them feel good about themselves. If their partner disappoints them, they handle this narcissistic wound by beating them. The anger acts as a way to boost their feelings of depression and low self esteem, and helps them to feel strong, powerful and in control. People can love in a toxic way. The abuser loves what they love about their partner but often wants to beat what they don't love right out of them.

SC:
There was a man in group, there for beating his wife, and he said, "She is my whole world. I want to own every part of her." He was even jealous of the baby, because the baby separated her from him.

LAE:
Why do these people think they can get away with abusing their partners?

SC:
Because they do get away with it. There was a person in group, for putting his wife's head through a dresser, and for this "misdemeanor" offense he got a small fine and had to attend group sessions. He said, "The reason I do it is I can. If I hit her; she thinks twice about talking back to me. I keep her in line."

ND:
Usually a woman leaves seven times before she makes a successful attempt to leave. An abuser isn't an abuser all the time. Where do you think the term make-up sex comes from?

LAE:
Is it common to see abuse in couples as young as Chris Brown and Rihanna?

ND:
Yes! Families are so fragmented right now. Young men and women are being raised without any male influence in their lives. Many families aren't focusing their energies on how to raise their children and have healthy relationships.

SC:
The Center of Disease Control did an extensive research study in 2007 and they found that 1 in 4 high school age teens reported some kind of physical, emotional, and or sexual abuse.

LAE:
One in four?

SC:
Yes and the National Campaign Against Teen Pregnancies studied pregnancies in girls aged 13 to 18 found that most of these girls had been coerced either emotionally or physically.

LAE:
What do you mean coerced?

SC:
Everything from, "If you loved me you'd do this." To holding down the victim and ignoring the victims saying, "No!"

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