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 Singing
the Valentine Blues
By Gail-Elaine
Tinker, M.S.
It was a casual phone conference with the 'top dog' at Pop
Culture Madness. He was going over details of my new job writing
features for PCM, giving insights and suggestions into what
he wanted to see from my writing. The tone was casual but
professional. I felt encouraged about my samples and submissions
thus far, yet as I am still new I am eager to create a good
impression. Suddenly my boss asked," Will you be writing
a feature about Valentine's Day?" I replied calmly, "Of
course, sure, um, the piece is a little late, but I'll get
it to you shortly." You know as well as I do, I was lying
between my teeth, but please don't tell.
I am a single mother of [ah-hem] 'ripening age' working in
a delightfully challenging career and holding a myriad of
responsibilities. I am always under the gun and I manage to
do a Ginger Rogers, 'Do everything a man can do but gracefully,
backward, and in high heels!' I knew I'd do the same with
a Valentine's feature.
 Truth
be told, I have always been a sucker for Valentine's Day but
not for the reason Hallmark expects. Maybe due to a natural
tendency to Seasonal Affective Disorder [SADs] a depression-like
status experienced by some people during the dark seasons
of the year; even as a child I clung to every winter celebration
as opportunity for merriment and cheer like the shipwrecked
cling to wreckage washed up on shore. As a girl I embraced
the cards to make with doilies, glitter and poetry.
When I blossomed to a teen it became about dates, messages
stuffed in locker slots, and fleeting glances. It was wonderful
to scribble in my diary and wonder if my adult life would
bring heart-shaped chocolates and the diamond necklaces I
saw on TV. When I married I learned that single roses and
cupcakes sufficed. And I learned to make Valentine special
for everyone in my world.
It wasn't until after marriage went sour that Valentine's
Day became bittersweet. Many of you already know that the
origins of Valentine's Day begin roughly in 269 A.D when a
Roman priest named Valentine married young couples according
to Christian tenets despite orders to stop.
Even while in prison he helped the daughter of his jailer
marry her love in a Christian blessing and on his February
14th execution he signed his last note to her "From Your
Valentine." By 500 A.D. as Christianity spread in the
Roman Empire Valentine was honored with sainthood and his
day of martyrdom is recognized by lovers. I can respect this
root cause for celebrating the day, so what has changed for
me from wide-eyed innocent to sage-crone who sort of wants
to ignore the day?
 I
suppose it is expectation. Interestingly E-How offers more
than 450 articles on how singles can get a date for this day
or cope with not having a date for this particular day...that
is only a single resource on an internet full of opinions.
I refuse to add to the clamor. The only thing I have of value
to offer on the subject is that it is ONLY one day out of
365 days to be happy and alive.
Since I have come to realize that the winter gives me the
blues…I celebrate more often than when the calendar sets forth
the brief holidays. I make more time for parties, fun, jokes,
craft projects on a regular basis…so that when V-day comes
along…we had a great time last week and next week we will
too! {I also take vitamin D3 supplement as recommended by
my doctor.] I also discovered the Blues, the genre of music.
What a way to spend an evening alone. When I get 'down,' my
all girl support group The Wailing Women get going on the
CD player: Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Etta James, Lena
Horne, Sarah Vaughn, Dinah Washington and we cry and survive.
You too can make your own way ALONE on Valentine's Day or
any day with or without the blues.
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