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► 1968 - Martin Luther King, Jr was assinianted by
James Earl Ray in Memphis Tennessee.
► 1850 - Los Angeles, California is incorporated as
a city.
► 1964 - The Beatles occupy all of the top five positions
on the Billboard singles chart in the United States, with
Can't Buy Me Love, Twist and Shout, She Loves
You, I Want to Hold Your Hand, and Please Please
Me.
► 1983 - Space Shuttle Challenger makes its maiden voyage
into space (STS-6).
► International Day for Landmine Awareness and Assistance
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It was April 4th 44, being a quadruple leap
year, I was driving downtown Atlantis, my Barracuda was in
the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray and it was overheating.
I pulled into a Shell Station, they said I'd blown a seal.
I said "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life
out of it, pal".
While they were doing that I walked over to a place called
The Oyster Bar, a real dive. But I knew the owner, he used
to play for the Dolphins. I said "Hi, Gill!" (you
have to yell, he's hard of herring) Gill was also down on
his luck, fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water.
I bellied up to the Sand Bar, he poured the usual: Rusty Grunion,
shaken not stirred, with a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich
on the side, heavy on the mako. I slipped a fin, on porpoise.
I was feeling good. I even dropped a sand dollar in the box
for Jerry's Squids. For the halibut. Well, the place was crowded
- we were packed in like sardines. They were all there to
listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal. What sole.
Tommy was rocking the place with a very popular tuna, "Sand
Enchanted Evening". The stage was surrounded by screaming
guppies, probably there to see the bass player.
One of them was this cute little yellowtail. She was giving
me the eye, so I thought this was chance to have a little
fun. Or a piece of Pisces. But she said things I just couldn't
fathom. She was too deep. Seemed to be under a lot of pressure.
Boy, could she drink! She drank ........ she drank a lot.
I said "What's your sign?", she said "Aquarium".
I said "Great! Let's get tanked!" I invited her
up to my place for a little midnight bait. I said "C'mon,
it'll only take a few minnows". She threw me that same
old line, "Not tonight - I got a haddock".
She wasn't kidding either, because just then in came in the
biggest, meanest haddock I ever seen come down the pike. He
was covered with mussels. He came over to me and said "Listen
Shrimp! Don't you come trolling around here!" What a
crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his
eyes. I turned to him and said "Abalone! - you're just
being shellfish". Well, I knew there was going to be
trouble, and so did Gill, because he was already on the phone
to the cods. The haddock hits me with a sucker punch. I catch
him with a left hook. He eels over. It was a fluke, but there
he was, lying on the deck, as flat as a mackerel.
Kelpless. I said "Forget the cods, Gill,
this guy's gonna need a sturgeon". Well, the yellowtail
was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend. She came
over to me, she said "Hey big boy, you're really a game
fish - what's your name?" I said "Marlin".
Well, from then on we had a whale of a time. I took her to
dinner, I took her to dance, I bought her a bouquet of flounders.
Then I went home with her. And what did I get for my troubles?
A case of the clams. I think I had a wet dream - cruisin'
thru the Gulfstream...
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