|
|
| Why
did the dinosaur cross the road? |
|
Because Chickens Hadn't Been
Invented Yet!
|
| Who's
Green and Sings? |
|
Elvis Parsley!
|
| What
did the fish say when he hit the wall? |
|
Dam!
|
| Did
you hear about the guy who went to a zoo that had no animals
except for a dog? |
|
It was a Shiatzu!
|
| Who's
the guy with no arms and no legs floating in boiling water?
|
|
Stu!
|
| Where
does Santa keep his Army? |
|
His Sleevie!
|
| What's
Black and White and Hides in a Cave? |
|
A Zebra Who Owes Money!
|
| Who's
the guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
|
|
Art!
|
| What
made the broken pencil story so boring? |
|
It Didn't Have a Point!
|
| What
do Flies wear on their feet? |
|
Shoos!
|
| Why
does a chicken coop have only two doors? |
|
If it had 4 Doors, it'd
be a Sedan!
|
| What
do outlaws eat with their milk? |
|
Crookies!
|
| A
hamburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says....
|
|
We Don't Serve Food
Here!
|
| A
man walked into a house |
|
Ouch!
|
| What
do you call a fish with no eyes? |
|
A fsh!
|
| A
guy walks into a doctors office with a carrot in his ear
and a piece of celery up his nose..... |
|
The Doctor said "I
can tell you right now,
you're not eating right!"
|
| What's
yellow, lives in a tree, and is VERY VERY dangerous?
|
|
A canary With a Machine
Gun!
|
| Why
did the pilot call out sick? |
|
He Had The Flew!
|
| What
can you sit on, brush your teeth with, and eat soup with?
|
|
A Chair, A Toothbrush
and A Spoon!
|
| When
ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than
the other? |
|
It has more Ducks!
|
| What's
brown and sticky? |
|
A Stick!
|
| Two
fish are in a tank. One says to the other... |
|
"Do You Know How
To Drive This Thing?"
|
| A
skeleton walks an ice cream shop and says... |
|
"Give me an Ice
Cream and a Mop!"
|
| What
kind of dog can jump higher than a building? |
|
Any Dog! Buildings can't
jump!
|
| A
horse walks into a bar... |
|
The Bartender Says "Why
The Long Face?"
|
| What
time do you go to the dentist? |
|
Tooth Hurty!
|
| What
do you get when you cross the Ocean with the Titanic?
|
|
Halfway!
|
| What
do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
|
|
A Stick!
|
| What's
the difference between one yard and two yards?
|
|
A Fence!
|
| How
do you keep a fool in suspense? |
|
...
|
| I
put clean socks on every day this week... |
|
Now My Shoes Don't Fit!
|
| We
had a nice quiet dinner last night, |
|
Except for the Celery,
of course!
|
