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January
29th Celebrity Birthdays
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Heather Graham (1970)
Tom Selleck (1945)
Sara Gilbert (1975)
John Forsythe (1918)
Nicholas Turturro (1962)
Oprah Winfrey (1954)
William McKinley (1843)
Jonny Lang (1980)
Edward Burns (1968)
W.C. Fields (1880-1946)
Victor Mature (1913-1999)
Ann Jillian (1950) |
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Etch-A-Sketch
Technical Support
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Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all
of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same
color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don't shake it. |
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January
29th's Lawyer/Generic Minority Joke
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A (Generic Funny Minority)
and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from
LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun
game? The (Generic Funny Minority) , tired, just wants to
take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window
to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that
the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask
you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay
me $5.00, and vise versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer,
now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer
you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay
you $500.00." This catches the (Generic Funny Minority)'s
attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment
unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance
from the earth to the moon?" The (Generic Funny Minority)
doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00
bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your
turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three
legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled,
takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references,
no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches
the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated,
he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworker, to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the (Generic Funny Minority), and
hands her $500. The (Generic Funny Minority) says, "Thank
you", and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer,
who is more than a little miffed, wakes the (Generic Funny
Minority) and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the (Generic Funny Minority) reaches into
her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
And you thought (Generic Funny Minority)s were dumb. |
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January
29th's Other Fun Facts
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► 1845 - Edgar Allan
Poe's 'The Raven' was published in the New York Evening Mirror.
► 1861 - Kansas became
the 34th state.
► 1959 - Walt Disney's 'Sleeping Beauty'was released.
The Beauty, Princess Aurora, only appeared on screen for about
18 minutes as an adult, actually a sixteen year-old. |
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