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Celebrities Born Today: <
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Andrew Lloyd Webber (1948)
Reese Witherspoon (1976)
Lena Olin (1955)
Bob Costas (1952)
Matthew Modine (1959)
Roger Whittaker (1936)
William Shatner (1931)
George Wyle (1916 - 2003)
Cody Gifford (1990)
Wolf Blitzer (1948)
Stephen Sondheim (1930)
Marcel Marceau (1923 - 2007)
M Emmit Walsh (1935)
George Benson (1943)
Pat Roberttson (1930)
Stephanie Mills (1957)
Chico Marx (1887 - 1961)
Karl Malden (1912)
Werner Klemperer (1920 -2000) |
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| March
22nd's Joke: |
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Two fonts walked to a drinking establishment.
The bartender said: "Sorry we don't want your type in
here."
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March
22nd's
Things Bart Wrote On The Chalkboard: |
I
will not carve gods.
I will not spank others.
I will not aim for the head.
I will not barf unless I'm sick
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
I will not conduct my own fire drills.
Funny noises are not funny.
I will not snap bras.
I will not fake seizures.
This punishment is not boring and pointless.
My name is not Dr. Death.
I will not defame New Orleans.
I will not prescribe medication.
I will not bury the new kid.
I will not teach others to fly.
I will not bring sheep to class.
A burp is not an answer.
Teacher is not a leper.
Coffee is not for kids.
I will not eat things for money.
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
I will not call the principal "spud head".
Goldfish don't bounce.
Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
No one is interested in my underpants.
I will not sell miracle cures.
I will return the seeing-eye dog.
I do not have diplomatic immunity.
I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
I will never win an emmy.
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
I am not deliciously saucy.
Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
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| Still
Feelin' March 17th... |
Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!"
Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But
tomorrow, I
shall be sober." |