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Celebrities Born Today: <
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Maggie Quigley (1979)
Morrissey (1959)
Naomi Campbell (1970)
Peter Nero (1934)
Johnny Gill (1966)
Bernie Taupin (1950)
Sun Ra (1914 - 1993)
Arthur Conan Doyle (1859)
Laurence Olivier (1907 - 1989)
Christopher Lee (1922) |
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May Trivia
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| May
22nd's Jokes (What that kid said): |
► "Rhubarb:
A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
► "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
► "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if
the blood is affirmative or negative."
► "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down
over the nose."
► "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then
the body until the heart stops."
► "For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move
up and down to make artificial perspiration."
► "For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a
lady, rub her arm above the hand instead or put the head between
the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
► "For dog bite: put the dog away for several days.
If he has not recovered, then kill it."
► "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration
until the patient is dead."
► "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
► "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose
until it drops in your throat."
► "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the
cow." |
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In
Case You Didn't Know...
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The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law
which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything
wider than your thumb. |
