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 Naughty
Politician Behavior
By Gail-Elaine
Tinker, M.S.
Unlike the past summer seasons, the hottest bar and beach
topic of 2011 is not Harry Potter, Justin Bieber, or Kim Kardashian
(although they still get their fair share of ink) …it is Naughty
Politician Behavior. As your insightful PCM columnist I have
been puzzling how to give this a new angle from all the blazing
and blaring news alerts. While more than a few people are
over-saturated on the moral antics of former NY Rep. Anthony
Weiner and former CA Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and as they
reflect upon the recent nonsense by Gov. Elliot Spitzer, Gov.
Mark Sanford, and Sen. David Vitter; a question is asked of
me repeatedly, "Why do these powerful men think they
can do such things to their families and constituents?"
It is a great question.
Firstly, in attempt to answer, I have some insights of my
own about people and power; the old adage that 'absolute power
corrupts absolutely' rings true in my experience. When people
use their vocational position as their identity, to define
their souls first, then a moral vacuum is likely to develop.
So this answers why this happens more often in men than in
women. Women are socialized to identify with their family
roles foremost and vocational roles secondly, even powerful
women...and that is why not all powerful men abuse their power.
If they are satisfied spiritually and socially to identify
as man, husband, father, volunteer, whatever, primarily...then
there is less need to be narcissistically controlling about
vocation other aspects of his life. Of course, the designation
of Narcissist Personality negates most ability to really moderate
emotional response [see tinkerpsychotherapy.com Web of Narcissism]
as does Sex, Drug , 'other' Addict, which is why these fellas
run to rehab for sexual addiction. There is no rehab for Narcissism
but long-long term therapy and personal growth.
This is my best educated theory based on my professional
experience, so in order to give you the best in journalism,
I began to follow an award-winning journalist in the areas
of human behavior and spirituality named Shankar Vedantam
who writes for some major news outlets, like NPR and Washington
Post. He has access to some interesting resources to give
more support to my musings.
Vedantam spoke to Joris Lammers, an assistant professor at
Tilburg University, who recently conducted a survey that asked
more than 1,000 professionals to describe whether they worked
in positions of power. Then he asked whether they had ever
committed adultery or ever foresaw that they would engage
in an adulterous relationship.
"Yeah, we found the effects, in both men and women -
the more they have power, the more likely they are to engage
in infidelity," Lammers said. Professor Lammers found
that the most powerful people in the survey were 30 percent
more likely to have affairs.
There is preliminary research that looks at why power might
increase the chance of infidelity. Lammers cited research
that scanned people's brains and gave them a fleeting sense
of power and found the way they view risks and rewards changes."You
can see the brain structure associated with positive things,
with rewards, is just much more activated than the part that
is steered toward preventing the bad things from happening,"
Lammers said.
Another of the more interesting studies Shankar Vedantam
found was from Jon Maner at Florida State University. He conducted
an experiment in which he sat heterosexual students next to
a student of the opposite sex. Maner found that when he gave
students a brief feeling of power, they were more likely to
start flirting with the stranger sitting next to them -men
and women alike.
"I don't think this is going to be limited to powerful
politicians or CEOs of big companies by any means," said
Maner. "I think this can happen in everyday social interactions.
In fact, in our own research, just giving people power over
a small amount of money in a short laboratory interaction
was enough to elicit this overestimation of sexual interest."
Volunteers with the power believed their lab partners were
acting in sexual ways even when they were not, Maner said.
So, don't get power, narcissism, and abuse confused with
healthy self esteem. It is perfectly fine to feel good about
oneself and want to flirt with the opposite sex; however,
the key is appropriateness, judgment, moral standards, boundaries,
and knowing how to use technology with proper manners. A married
elected official has no excuse for frat house behavior - period.
I'm no prude but with what I see going on in college these
days; the abuse, hazing, random hooking up, substance bingeing,
sexting; even frat stuff needs to cool it a few levels, for
that matter. We have adults with kids in strollers still carrying
on like this is an OK way to behave. Yes, this is exactly
like the naughty politician stuff - it is poor impulse control
without the news media, just the neighbors yakking over the
back fences. It is still un-cool and bad for our communities.
The research shows that even with a little power we ALL feel
sexier, then add a dis-inhibiting drink to that sensation
and even the most moral among us can mistake a handshake for
a hug, a greeting for a come-on, and a text as a sext.
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| Gail-Elaine Tinker, M.S.
is a psychotherapist in private practice on the Lehigh Valley
PA. She was born in Philadelphia in May 1960, eldest of three
children. She was greatly interested in writing, language, theater
and music throughout her youth which opened opportunity such
as performance, travel, and academics. Gail-Elaine had planned
a career in teaching English but upon seeing the state of secondary
education in the 80s, she re-tooled her skills to become an
addictions counselor.
She was married and has a gifted son with
AS. She had a career in Art and entrepreneurial publishing
while raising him. Upon her divorce she furthered her credentials
with a Masters in Clinical Psychology and Master Levels in
Reiki training. Her goal is to change the stigma of mental
illness and facilitate positive solutions for her clients.
Gail-Elaine continues her work in trauma,
chronic pain, grief, and addictions in her general practice
of psychotherapy with art and somatic psychology. She serves
as Therapist, Consultant, Life Coach, Reiki Teacher, Advocate,
Community Speaker, Blogger [www.tinkerpsychotherapy.com],
and also as Features Contributor for PCM.
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