COMMUTER PLANE

Fourteen passengers on a small commuter plane are all strapped in, waiting for the flight to leave and they're getting a little impatient. But the ground staff has assured them that the pilots will be there soon and the flight can take off immediately thereafter. The entrance at the rear of the aircraft opens and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilot's uniforms - both wearing dark glasses. One is led by a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a white cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin as the men enter the cockpit. The door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing around, nervously, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane gathers speed, moving freely, faster and faster down the runway, when people at the windows realize that they're getting closer and closer to the end of the runway and that they will never take off.

Hysterical, panic stricken screams fill the cabin. But just at that very last possible moment, the plane lifts off smoothly, and sails up, into the sky. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly. Soon, they have all retreated into their papers and magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is indeed in safe hands.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know Bob, one of these days they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die!"

"They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.