Now You Know...
|Emma Watson (1990)
Seth Rogen (1982)
Roy Clark (1933)
Dave Edmunds (1944)
Samantha Fox (1966)
Michael Kamen (1948)
Linda Perry (1965)
Emma Thompson (1959)
Wallace Reid (1891)
Leonardo da Vinci (1452)
Bessie Smith (1894 - 1937)
Elizabeth Montgomery (1933 - 1995)
|Tax Freedom Day is the day that
the money that you earn that particular year, on average, stops
going into the government's pocket and starts going into yours.
Tax Freedom Day By Year:
April 18, 2013
April 13, 2012
April 12, 2011
April 9, 2010
April 8, 2009
April 16, 2008
April 24, 2007
April 26, 2006
April 21, 2005
April 15, 2004
April 14, 2003
April 17, 2002
April 27, 2001
May 1, 2000
|I have offended God and mankind
because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
- Leonardo da Vinci, artist, died in 1519
April 15th Jokes
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS
The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by
saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says
Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can
bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a
Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw
Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that
I can bite my other eye."
The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned
auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll
bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side
of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side,
and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully
and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt,
so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips
his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make
the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty
much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned
a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and
puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the
auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This
morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit,
he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here
and pee all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be
happy about it."
|A businessman on his deathbed called his friend
and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die
you will have my remains cremated." "And what,"
his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and
mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope,
"Now, you have everything."
|"To you taxpayers out there, let me say this:
Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that,
even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks
at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they
can destroy your life."
- Dave Barry
|"The taxpayer - that's someone who works
for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil
The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence
is 1,337 words, and the Holy Bible is only 773,000 words.
However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913,
to over 7 million words today.
There are at least 480 different tax forms, each with many
pages of instructions. Even the easiest form, the 1040E
has 33 pages in instructions, and all in fine print.
The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions
each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times
around the earth.
Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper
for all the IRS forms and instructions. The total number of
computers thrown out the window, or kicked with a frustrated
foot is unknown.
American taxpayers spend $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours
working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than
it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United
The IRS employs 114,000 people; that's twice as many as the
CIA and five times more than the FBI.
60% of taxpayers must hire a professional to get through their
Taxes eat up nearly 40% of the average family's income; that's
more than for food, clothing and shelter combined.
April 15th In Pop Culture History