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| Why did the dinosaur cross
the road? |
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Because Chickens Hadn't Been Invented
Yet!
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| Who's Green and Sings? |
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Elvis Parsley!
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| What did the fish say when
he hit the wall? |
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Dam!
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| Did you hear about the
guy who went to a zoo that had no animals except for a dog? |
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It was a Shiatzu!
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| Who's the guy with no arms
and no legs floating in boiling water? |
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Stu!
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| Where does Santa keep his
Army? |
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His Sleevie!
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| What's Black and White
and Hides in a Cave? |
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A Zebra Who Owes Money!
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| Who's the guy with no arms
and no legs hanging on the wall? |
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Art!
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| What made the broken pencil
story so boring? |
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It Didn't Have a Point!
|
| What do Flies wear on their
feet? |
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Shoos!
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| Why does a chicken coop
have only two doors? |
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If it had 4 Doors, it'd be a Sedan!
|
| What do outlaws eat with
their milk? |
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Crookies!
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| A hamburger walks into
a bar, and the bartender says.... |
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We Don't Serve Food Here!
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| A man walked into a house |
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Ouch!
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| What do you call a fish
with no eyes? |
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A fsh!
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| A guy walks into a doctors
office with a carrot in his ear and a piece of celery up his
nose..... |
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The Doctor said "I can tell
you right now,
you're not eating right!"
|
| What's yellow, lives in
a tree, and is VERY VERY dangerous? |
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A canary With a Machine Gun!
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| Why did the pilot call
out sick? |
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He Had The Flew!
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| What can you sit on, brush
your teeth with, and eat soup with? |
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A Chair, A Toothbrush and A Spoon!
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| When ducks fly in a V,
why is one side of the V longer than the other? |
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It has more Ducks!
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| What's brown and sticky? |
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A Stick!
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| Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other... |
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"Do You Know How To Drive
This Thing?"
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| A skeleton walks an ice
cream shop and says... |
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"Give me an Ice Cream and
a Mop!"
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| What kind of dog
can jump higher than a building? |
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Any Dog! Buildings can't jump!
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| A horse walks into a bar... |
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The Bartender Says "Why The
Long Face?"
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| What time do you
go to the dentist? |
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Tooth Hurty!
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| What do you get when you
cross the Ocean with the Titanic? |
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Halfway!
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| What do you call a boomerang
that doesn't come back? |
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A Stick!
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| What's the difference between
one yard and two yards? |
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A Fence!
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| How do you keep a fool
in suspense? |
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...
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| I put clean socks on every
day this week... |
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Now My Shoes Don't Fit!
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| We had a nice quiet dinner
last night, |
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Except for the Celery, of course!
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