Gentlemen, say "Yes"...
The other night, my wife and I were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes,  mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and  said, "Does this look natural?"

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There had been no snow during the entire month of December. The elves in the
bicycle department had been on strike since October, and now there was the
possibility that the elves in the doll department might join them.

Daily life at the North Pole was not pleasant, and Santa Claus was in a pretty foul mood. Mrs. Claus was suffering from arthritis and was very mad over the fact that her red velvet cake had fallen in the oven. Santa had tried to round up some extra helpers, but with no snow, they weren't able to make it by sleigh to the workshop.

Rudolph had a bad cold, and his nose wouldn't light up. Comet and Prancer were
fighting over Vixen, who had just come into heat. Blitzen's right foreleg was still in a cast, and the vet said that they would have to wait until 24 December to decide if Blitzen would be able to pull the sleigh.

The electricity went off, and all the power tools came to a stop. There was *nothing* going right in Santa's workshops. The helpers were about three weeks
behind in their work, and it didn't look that all the toys would be ready by Christmas Eve. Santa's foul mood was exacerbated by a bad case of hemorrhoids, and he wasn't too happy about the possibility of having to ride so far on Christmas Eve.

Seeing the terrible state of affairs at the North Pole chez Santa, the angels took up an offering to buy a gift for the unhappy workers and the Clauses - something that would brighten their Christmas. They chose a Christmas tree, and they sent it down by an angel.

The angel burst into the workshop room and asked,
"HEY, WHERE DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT THIS TREE?" 

And that, my friends, is how the angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree!"

I plan to live forever.

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 So far so good.