Obituary
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy,
died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications
from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies
in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including
Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty
Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch and many others.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend,
Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a
man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Doughboy
rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled
with many turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his
dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man,
he was a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have
two children and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
Every day I get up and
look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America.
If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben
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