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February
16th Joke and Trivia
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Virus Warning...
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete
it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty
nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive,
but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of
your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on all of your credit
cards. It reprograms Your ATM access code; it screws up the
tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch
any CD's you attempt to play.
It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so
all your ice cream melts and your milk curdle. It will program
your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's number.
This virus will mix bubble bath into your fish tank. It will
drink all your beer.
It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting
company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair
with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
way that's only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite
your backup files, changing all your active verbs passive tense
and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change
the interpretations of key sentences.
If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98
environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It
will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses
and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole
milk.
Credit Card Trivia, in case someone asks:
The expiration date on the card is “fake.” You can still use
the card after its expiration date because the card number on
your replacement will be the same. The reason why cards do expire
varies from company to company but mostly it’s because the credit
cards take a lot of abuse and just need replacing (they estimate
the magnetic strip is good for only about three or four years
of swiping).
The first six digits will correspond to the issuer, including
the major industry identifier. 34xxxx/37xxxx are for American
Express, 4xxxxx is for Visa, 51-55xxxx is for MasterCard, and
6011xx is for Discover.
- If I were two-faced,
would I be wearing this one?
- - Abraham Lincoln
(1809-1865)
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Facts and Events:
The Ash Wednesday brushfires in Southern Austalia took the lives
of 71 people in 1983, becoming Australia's worst fire ever
The NHL cancels their 2004-2005 season over a labor dispute
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February
16th
Birthdays: | Sonny
Bono (1935)
Ice-T (1959)
Edgar Bergen (1903) |
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