Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone.
I said, "The whole time."

So what's the speed of dark?

How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees?
And who has been dissing them anyhow?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

I just got skylights put in my place.
The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

- Elvis Presley
(1935-1977)