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January
31st Celebrity Birthdays
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Justin Timberlake (1981)
Franz Schubert (1797-1828)
Suzanne Pleshette (1937)
Jackie Robinson (1919)
Portia de Rossi (1973)
Johnny 'Rotten' Lydon (1956)
Minnie Driver (1970)
Eddie Cantor (1892)
Caol Channing (1921)
Kelly Lynch (1959)
Talluhlah Bankhead (1902) |
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January
31st's Observations
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► It's bad luck to
be superstitious.
► It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
► A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for
doing well.
► Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor
when you can't drink and drive?
► A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little
furball that barfs on the furniture.
► Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before.
► If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why
practice?
► Why is there always one in every crowd?
► If all the world is a stage, where does the audience
sit?
► Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the
same time?
► Why do hair shampoo instructions say "Lather.
Rinse. Repeat"? If you did this, would you ever be able
to stop?
► Who decided "Hotpoint" would be a good name
for a company that sells refrigerators?
► How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
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January
31st's Politeness Pointer (Don't Say Stupid)
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Elevator doesn't go all the
way to the top floor.
Forgot to pay her brain bill.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
No grain in the silo.
Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
Receiver is off the hook.
Several nuts short of a full pouch. |
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January
31st's Other Fun Facts
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► 1865 - Congress passed
the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery in America.
► 1992 - ABC Sportscaster Howard Cosell retired. |
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