A mushroom walks into a bar and says "drinks are on me"

The bartender said "why are you buying everybody drinks?"

The mushroom said "because I'm just a Fungi"

A pig went into a bar and asked the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom.  The bartender said, "Sure. It's down the hall and to your right."

A little while later another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for two glasses of water.  The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom.  The bartender said, "Sure.  It's down the hall and to your right."

Soon after, another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for three glasses of water.  The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom. The bartender said, "Sure.  It's down the hall and to your right."

Then another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for four glasses of water.  The bartender gave the pig the water and when the pig was done he asked the bartender if he could use the restroom.  The bartender said, "Sure.  It's down the hall and to your right."

After a little while another pig went into the bar and asked the bartender for five glasses of water.  The bartender gave the pig the water and the pig drank all five glasses and was about to leave when the bartender stopped him and said, "Wait a minute.

All these other pigs have come in here and drank between one and four glasses of water and they all needed to use the restroom. But you drank five whole glasses of water.  Why don't you need to use the restroom too?"

And the pig replied, "I'm surprised you didn't recognize me!  I'm
Pretty famous! I'm the little pig that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home."

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost
 ---Charles Caleb Colton