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Celebrities Born Today: <
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Johnny Knoxville (1971)
Joel & Benji Madden (1979)
Rupert Murdoch (1931)
Lawrence Welk (1903-1992)
Lisa Loeb (1968)
Bobby McFerrin (1950)
Thora Birch (1982)
Alex Kingston (1963)
Dorothy Gish (1898)
Bobby McFerrin (1950) |
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| More
Chuck Norris Facts |
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(We could not fit all of them on his birthday, March
10)
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to
eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris
has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get
wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during
the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse
Kick)
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks
through.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could
Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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| March
11's pre-St Patty's Day Joke: |
A man came home from work and sat in his recliner, happy to
be home and relaxing after a long and hectic day at the office.
He called to his wife, "Honey, bring me a beer before it
starts."
Somewhat irritated but willing to fulfill her hard-working husband's
wish, she got a beer from the refrigerator and promptly delivered
it to her reclining husband.
He immediately began drinking it, and not more than fifteen
minutes later he called to his wife a second time, "Honey,
grab another beer for me before it starts."
Now truly annoyed but unwilling to get into an argument, the
wife stomped into the kitchen, snatched a beer from the refrigerator
and tossed it at her reclining husband as she walked past him.
Once again, he immediately began guzzling the beer, and about
ten minutes later he called out to his wife a third time, "Honey,
bring me another beer will you? It's just about to start."
Now at the end of her rope, the wife stormed through the house
into the kitchen, all the while speaking in an angry voice about
how she was not put on this earth to be a slave to the opposite
sex and that she was not going to be her husband's own personal
bartender for the entire night. She had had a long day
too, and expected some peace and quiet for herself. She
jerked open the refrigerator, grabbed a beer, and slammed the
refrigerator closed. She finished ranting just about the
time she reached her reclining husband and threw the third beer
at him.
Satisfied, the husband opened the beer, took a large gulp of
the frosty brew, and said, "Ahhh, just in time." |
| Song
Lyrics ... |
If you should die before me, ask if you
could bring a friend.
-Stone Temple Pilots |
