One day there was a man who was walking through the forest and got lost. He wandered around for over a week, and was beginning to starve.

He spotted a Bald Eagle who had just caught a fish and chased it, hoping to get it to drop the fish so he could eat it. Then he saw the bird land on a tree stump not far from him, so he picked up a stone to toss at it--hoping the bird would be frightened and fly away without the fish. But, weak as he was, his aim was off and he hit the poor bird square on the head, and killing it.

"Well," he thought to himself, "no sense letting it go to waste, if I leave it here it will just rot, and it could save my life if I eat it."

So, he built himself a little fire--using a couple of stones- -and cooked the eagle to eat. While it was cooking a ranger stumbled upon the man, and when he saw what he was up to, he immediately arrested him--because as you know, that is quite illegal!

The man told the ranger what had happened, and asked for a trial so he could explain the situation to a judge.

So, the day of his trial he told the judge, "Please your Honor, it was a life or death situation! I was lost and starving, and I didn't mean to harm the bird--I only wanted the fish! And when I accidentally killed it, well, I felt terrible but couldn't see any reason to let it go to waste!"

The judge listened to the man's story and deemed him, "Not guilty, on the grounds of extenuating circumstances."

The man was very grateful, and thanked the judge for his fairness.

Then, the judge leaned over and quietly asked the man, "Just between you and me, what DOES a Bald Eagle taste like anyway??"

The man contemplated this for a moment and then spoke, "Well, it's kind of hard to explain... but, I would say somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl."

Duct tape is like The Force: 
it has a light side, a dark side,
and it holds the universe together