Another employment change notice from your employer, indicating it's time for a new job:

LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR SURGERY
We are no longer allowing this practice. As long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for. Anyone having operations will be FIRED immediately.

PREGNANCY
In the event of extreme pregnancy, you will be allowed to go to the first aid room when the pains are FIVE MINTUES apart. IF it is false labor, you will have to take an hour's leave without pay.

DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse, BUT we would like two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone your job.

May Day features crowning the May Queen, and dancing around a maypole.
May-day is the sea faring ocean distress call, from the French m'aidez (help me).

Klingon for Dummies:
'arlogh Qoylu'pu'
-What Time Is It?

The first piece of unsolicited bulk e-mail (what will come to be known as spam) is written. When it's sent two days later, more than 400 people with an Arpanet address receive a promotional message sent by Gary Thuerk, a marketer for Digital Equipment Corporation. It's been pretty much downhill from there.
-Wired.com