...To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing.

...Sometimes a majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

The following portion of a transcript, which was confirmed with the counsel involved (Ms. Olschner) and subsequently was posted on Lexis Counsel Connect. The transcript is from Birmingham, Alabama, although the use of a deposition of a party opponent "for any purpose" is also in the federal rules. We have no word on what had happened immediately prior to this exchange:

THE COURT: Next witness.

MS. OLSCHNER: Your Honor, at this time I would like to swat Mr. Buck in the head with his client's deposition.

THE COURT: You mean read it?

MS. OLSCHNER: No, sir. I mean to swat him [on] the head with it. Pursuant to Rule 32, I may use the deposition "for any purpose" and that is the purpose for which I want to use it.

THE COURT: Well, it does say that.

(Pause.)

THE COURT: There being no objection, you may proceed.

MS. OLSCHNER: Thank you, Judge Hanes.

(Whereupon Ms. Olschner swatted Mr. Buck in the head with a deposition.)

MR. BUCK: But Judge...

THE COURT: Next witness.

MR. BUCK: We object.

THE COURT: Sustained.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.