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Celebrities Born Today: <
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P.
Diddy, Puff Daddy 'Sean Combs' (1969)
Jeff Probst (1962)
Matthew McConaughey (1969)
Doris Roberts (1929)
Markie Post (1950)
Kathie Griffin (1961)
Walter Cronkite (1916)
Laura Bush (1946)
Ralph Macchio (1961)
Will Rogers (1879)
Loretta Swit (1937)
Art Carney (1918) |
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November
4th's Joke:
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An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning
to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her
vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,
proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I
have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you
scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation, but got
out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken,
proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car
and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she
could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes
later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther
down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police
station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself
in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter,
where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by
a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall,
glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun. No
charges were filed.
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Today's
Celebrity Quote:
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If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get
us out?
- Will Rogers
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Today's
Helpful Tip:
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Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate
your eyes.
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Famous
Last Words:
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Rat poison only kills rats.
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