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1. Quote from the boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing
what I say." (Mktg. executive, Citrix Corporation)
2. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for
Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died so that I would
have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then
asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That
would be better for me." (Shipping Executive, FTD Florists)
3. We know that communication is a problem, but the company
is not going to discuss it with the employees. (AT&T Longe
Lines Division)
4. We recently received a memo from senior management saying,
"This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding
the subject mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division)
5. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him
concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow
would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I
would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New Business
Mgr., Hallmark Cards)
6. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a
memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials.
In the body of the memo one of the sentences mentioned the
"pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals.
The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee,
I was called into the HR Director's office, and was told that
the executive VP wanted me out of the building by lunch.
When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for "perverts"
(paedophiles?) working in her company. Finally he showed me
her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired, with
the word "pedagogical" circled in red.
The HR Manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the
word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition
to send to my boss, he told me not to worry. He would take
care of it.
Two days later a memo to the entire staff came out,directing
us that no words which could not be found in the local Sunday
newspaper could be used in company memos.
A month later, I resigned. In accordance with company policy,
I created my resignation letter by pasting words together
from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)
Where in the nursery rhyme
does it say Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
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