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Celebrities Born Today: <
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Sam
Waterston (1940)
Ace Young (1980)
Mantovani (1905-1980)
Kevin Eubanks (1957)
Ol' Dirty Bastard (1968-2004)
Ed Asner (1929)
Chad Kroeger (1974)
Petula Clark (1932)
Clyde McPhatter (1932) |
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How
To Cook a Turkey, Round 1: The Irish*
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Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey (scotch)
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for hours
Step 14: Test the lurkey for numbness
Step 15: Take the oven out of the lurkey
Step 16: Floor the lurkey up off of the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself nuther scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out
* Hey, I'm 15/16ths
Irish!
-webmaster
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November
15th's Jokes: (Turkeys)
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► Asked to write a composition entitled, "What
I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
► Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside
► Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off
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In
Case You Didn't Know...
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How come every guy I know thinks Disney
princesses are so hot? They are animated cartoons. They are
not now, nor will they ever be real. Get over it. Not gonna
happen. Besides, do you know how much of a hassle a princess
can be?
-Princess
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Ethnic
Humor:
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What did the (Generic Funny Minority) say when he/she saw
the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! they spelled MACY'S wrong.
Why do (Generic Funny Minority)s like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Why did the (Generic Funny Minority) scale the chain-link
fence?
To see what was on the other side.
How do you make a (Generic Funny Minority) laugh on Saturday?
Tell him/her a joke on Wednesday
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