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September
Jokes and Trivia
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| According to the Georgian calendar, September is the ninth
month. But, on the Roman calendar, it was the seventh month.
September has had 29 days, and 31 days; but, since the time
of the emperor Augustus, it has had only 30 days. |
| September is one of the warmest months in the Southern United
States. Northern states have warm September days, but the nights
get much cooler. It is also harvest time for crops. And, in
Switzerland, it's called Harvest Month.
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| September 14, 1814 - Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star
Spangled Banner" which later became our national anthem |
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Had It Rough at School?
add
your rough school story!
You went to school? You had clothes? We went right from the
womb to the uranium mines. 12-hour shifts. And, at the end
of that 12-hour shift you'd move over to the diamond mine
for a 12-hour shift. It might have been ok if we had been
given tools, but those were for the rich kids. It didn't matter
anyway, because there was only one hand for the whole block.
And if you got the hand the day you didn't have the arm, well
that was your tough luck. I still remember that one Christmas
when the mine owners just hit us with lead pipes for 22 hours
straight instead of making us dig. Man, that was sweet.
You had it easy. When I was younger, "grades" didn't
exist. You either passed or failed, and if you failed they
shot you. And it was at least a hundred miles to campus, and
we hadn't even evolved legs yet so we just kind of rolled
both ways. Uphill, of course. And snow? Wow, that would have
been a blessing. Acid rain, baby. You'd put on several layers
of clothes and just hope that you got there fast enough that
it wasn't all melted away by then. And our attackers weren't
just ice weasels, they were saber-toothed ice weasels. And
I could only dream about rocks being added to the menu. Man,
the next generation had it so good.
Pfft. Don't tell me about having it rough. I would have killed
to go to school in an acid rain downpour. When I was in college,
meteors the size of buildings would crash down upon us as
we were on our way to class...on the next continent. We didn't
have any skin protection back in those days, so we had to
squirm up the hill completely naked while leaches attacked
us. Class was a 6 straight hours of beatings with a stick
by our professors, to which we were required to say, "Thank
you" with each and every blow. And the professors were
the saber toothed ice weasels with poisonous laser beams that
shot out of their eyes.
You had schools? Lucky dogs. Back in my day we had to find
a smart person and follow 'em around all day. If he or she
didn't like what you said, you'd get smacked in the nose with
a mace. And don't even talk to me about walking, that was
a luxury where I came from. Most of use couldn't afford your
fancy legs, we had to pull ourselves along with our fingers
and the roads were made of broken glass.
You had smart people? Quit complainin'. In my day we were
barely walking upright on that 12 mile hike to the uranium
mines. And we'd have killed for some acid rain to cool down
the lava fields we had to walk across, dragging our knuckles
the whole way. And if we got there late or the foreman was
in a bad mood, he'd make us roll around in his poisonous thorn
bushes, then send us back home.
The United States Military targets a minimum IQ score of
85
50% of people have Intelligence Quotient scores between 90
and 110
2.5% of people are very superior in intelligence (over 130)
0.5% of people are near genius or genius (over 140)
'"The trick to education is to teach people in such
a way that they don't realize they're learning until it's
too late."
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Monthly Observences
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Chicken Month (National, US)
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
Children's Good Manners Month
Cholesterol Education Month
Food Education Safety Month
Little League Month (National, US)
School Success Month (National, US) |
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Weekly Observences
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3rd Week Constitution Week:
The Congress, by joint resolution of February 29, 1952 (36 U.S.C.
106), designated September 17 as "Citizenship Day," and
by joint resolution of August 2, 1956 (36 U.S.C. 108), requested that
the President proclaim the week beginning September 17 and ending
September 23 of each year as "Constitution Week." For more
information, please visit The
White House website.
4th Week Banned Books Week - Celebrate Your Freedom
to Read! September 25–October 2, 2004
For more information, please visit the American
Library Association website. |
Gemstone: Sapphire
Flower: Morning Glory |
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