She Had Me At Hello
PCM Interview By: Bernadette Giacomazzo
Saleswoman/entrepreneur Jess McCann gives professional single
women an inside track on dating with her new book, You Lost
Him At Hello: A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal
With Any Guy You Want.
Ask any single professional woman between
the ages of 25 to 50 about the challenges of dating, and
they'll gladly rattle off a laundry list of reasons why
"closing the deal" when it comes to that ever-elusive
second date -- if, indeed, the man is worthy of a first
date at all -- is perhaps the most difficult prospect of
all.
Jess McCann -- saleswoman, entrepreneur,
reality star, dating coach, and all-around success story
-- understands this challenge, as she, too, went through
the same difficulty. According to her, however, when she
applied the same techniques she used to make her professional
career a success, she found herself "with more interested
men than she knew what to do with." As a result, she
wrote a book detailing her success -- You Lost Him At Hello:
A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal With Any Guy
You Want -- in the hopes that other professional women can
reap the rewards of a second date...and beyond.
How
did she turn her love life around? Simple. She uncovered
the hidden truth about dating: It's a sale. The process
of generating interest in someone, building a strong relationship,
and closing on a commitment is the same process in dating
as it is in selling. If woman can learn the fundamental
tactics that salespeople use to win over customers, they
can and will win over any man they chose.
At age 23, Jess founded her own company.
Along with being the president, she was also the manager
of her thirty person sales team. She routinely taught the
basics of sales while lecturing at leadership conferences
around the country. In 2004, Sir Richard Branson chose Jess
as one of the 16 top entrepreneurs in America and she appeared
on the Fox reality show, The Rebel Billionaire.
PCM: What gave you the idea to write a book that correlates
dating to sales?
JM: I used to be terrible at dating. So bad, in fact, that
in college I asked a guy I had been seeing to my sorority
formal, which also happened to fall on my 21st birthday.
Two days before the party, he called to tell me he couldn't
go anymore because the girl he REALLY liked asked him to
her formal. After having one bad experience after another,
I mentally gave up on dating and focused my career in sales.
That's when everything changed for me. My love life completely
turned around, and suddenly I was the one in control of
my relationships. I realized that the same techniques I
used to win over customers could be applied to winning over
men.
PCM: Isn't it questionable to use "techniques"
in dating? Shouldn't you just be yourself?
JM: That's just the problem: women cannot be themselves.
When they really like someone, they overanalyze everything
and let their emotions dictate their judgement. When that
happens, disaster is usually just around the corner. But
I'm not teaching women to be somethint they're not; I'm
teaching them just how to sell their most important product
-- themselves.
PCM: In your book, you tell women to "prospect."
What is prospecting, and how do you do it?
JM: Some of the older books, like The Rules, have women
thinking that they should do nothing and let the man do
all the work. In fact, the first couple "rules"
are, don't look at a man, and don't talk to him first. I
think that's a ridiculous rule that will ensure that you
are single forever! You can look at a man and you can talk
to him first, as long as you know how to do it.
In sales, we have something called the SEE Factor. It stands
for Smile, Eye contact, and Energy. When you see a guy you
would like to talk to, you want to smile at him, look him
right in the eye, and let him sense a positive energy from
you. After you do that, he will come to you. As for talking
to a man first, you want to use an Icebreaker -- a small,
off-the-cuff remark that could be directed to anyone and
doesn't imply interest. So, if I saw a cute guy in a coffee
shop, I might go up to him and ask if he knows if there
is wireless availablility, or if he knows where is the nearest
bookstore. It doesn't matter what icebreaker you use, all
you have to do is open the line of communication and the
guy will take it from there.
PCM: Why do you think it's so important for every woman
to read your book?
JM: Let me put it this way: you could have the most beautiful
house on the block. It could be in the best area, next to
a great school, and have a pool in the backyard. But without
a good realtor, how will anyone know about it? Without a
realtor, it would sit on the market for months, and you
may end up selling it for a lower price than you originally
wanted. You are that house, and you have to become your
own realtor. Just waiting and hoping that the right guy
stumbles upon your doorstep is a huge gamble that usually
doesn't pay off in your favor. And once you do find him,
you need to be able to keep his interest long enough to
get to know the real you. That is why it is imperative to
read this book: you want to know how to find him, keep him
interested, and close the deal. It's all in your power.
PCM: What is your background in sales?
JM: When I first graduated college, I started my own sales
company. I employed a 30-person, entry-level sales staff.
They would go business-to-business on behalf of local telecom
and office supply companies. I recruited, trained, and managed
this sales team, and also had to motivate them on a daily
basis since they were only paid on commission. During the
daily motivational speeches, I would teach the staff the
fundamentals of sales by using dating parallels.
After four years, I moved into medical equipment sales.
I sold cardiac monitors to hospitals and learned a very
different sale than before. This one was much more strategic
and had a longer cycle. It taught me a lot about timing
things well and keeping my cool under pressure.
PCM: You were on Richard Branson's reality show in 2004.
How was it being a contestant on that show?
JM: Mostly, it was just terrifying. I don't even like riding
the tilt-a-whirl, so when they told me I would have to jump
off a 400 foot gorge, or walk a plank between two hot-air
balloons, I wasn't exactly thrilled. The benefit was hanging
would Branson for eight weeks straight. He exemplifies some
of the most important sales practices in his business. He
knows his product, and he loves his product. And because
of it, everyone else does, too. The running joke in England
is that Virgin is better liked than the Queen.
PCM: What do you think about online dating? What tips
do you have?
JM: It's hard to meet people when you are out, sometimes.
But using sites like Match.com and eHarmony gives you the
luxury of not having to leave your living room. There are
millions of men online and you don't have to go anyhere
to find them. The old stigma of online dating is gone. Everyone
is doing it.
As far as tips, I would say that you need to make sure
your profile truly reflects who you are in the best possible
light. Make sure someone else reviews what you have written,
and approves your pictures. I once had a lady make a joke
on her profile, but it fell flat when reading it. You just
never know how things come off online so you have to get
a second opinion.
PCM: What is next for you?
JM: Besides having started a second book, I'm working on
a reality how where I teach women how to use these techniques
with men, and put them in social situations where they either
sink or swim. It's going to be a funny show that will also
be educational for viewers.
For more information on Jess McCann, visit www.jessmccann.com.
